Remember the Good Times

When it comes to losing those you have known died and close to you it is so important to remember all the good times.

Most of the close people to us have hurt us in some many or another over the years but I believe the good times outweigh the bad times. It is easy to hold onto those things that hurt us; however, it is more important to forgive them. I am really sure those who have hurt us the most we have hurt them in some degree or another as well. Other words you could say there is a thin line between love and hate. I know myself it is much better to remember those good times.

When you come to our parents see probably all think things were better than how they turned out. I was really blessed to have really good parents. I know not all people have been blessed in that way. We can say we choose our friends but we can’t choose our family, and there is so much truth to that. I know in many families there is abuse whether it physical or emotional abuse. I have to say it never happen in that way in my family so that is why I can say I was blessed.

How each of us relate to our siblings can be as different as we do with our parents. I am blessed in that manner as well. My brothers and I had the usual squabble that most brothers have but we loved each other very much and never had any bitterness against one another. My older brother and I were so much different from each other like the difference of night and day but we did have mutual respect for one another as well. I thought he was smartest person I have ever known, and I have to say I have known a lot of smart people. Being smart though did not make him perfect at all. He had his failures mainly how he related to other people. He could not relate to the normal person in the social gather; however, he never once that I know that he looked down on another person. He may have been one of the most humble men I have ever known as well. It may sound like I am writing in past tense which is true because he died in 1992, and I miss him every day. It is not as hard as it was when I heard he died in 1992. He was thirty-eight years old and he was not in bad health as far as we know. His death was ruled that he died of natural causes. So his death was a total shock to us all.

Back to my parents like I say they were pretty good parents though far from perfect as well. The trouble I had was when I was growing up my parents would show us love but seldom told us they loved us. I am not sure what my brothers and sisters thought of it but I know for me I could have heard the words “I love you” as well. My dad though shortly before he died he told me those words. I know I will never forget that day for the rest of my life.  My mother told me earlier this year that she knew they never said the words though they meant it by showing so. She admits it was a flaw in their parenting; so it was also nice to hear from her as well.

I can’t forget about my sister. She was eight and half years older than me so I have few memories of her being a kid. I know I was that annoying little brother at times. I loved to talk a whole lot and I know it drove her crazy at times. It would have been nice if she had been a little closer in age but I still have to say she was a really great sister, and she turned out to be a very good wife and mother.

In the end of this I have to say it is never easy to lose a loved one whether in the family or a longtime friend. I figure how a person reacts or mourn over the loss so close to them can be different than for another. I have never talked to my sister or younger brother over the death of my older brother or father. I have no idea their feelings or how long they mourned for, and in my mind it doesn’t really matter. I am sure someday we may share that with one me. Also, I can say even though I have lost a brother and a father how another person feels or mourns can be so different then my experience.  I would never say to another human being that I understand what they are going through; however, I will be there for anyone who is going the experience of a loved one. I may be wrong; however, it is how I feel. So I could say not to say a word but just be there and don’t give any advice especially about how long they should mourn for.  The importance is to love as many people as you can. Love makes the world go around. Peace!