Interesting Time of Year

We are now in the last month and a half of the year and we call it the holiday season. I find it interesting time of the year because we call it the holiday season.

Why I call it interesting because all of us should be happy and overjoyed during the holiday season and that is less than the truth.  We have people that feel lonely now for numerous reasons. It could be because you lost a loved one during the course of the year or last year at this time. For those it is not easy and I am sure many feel that way.

I know that I am single and I feel often in a category of my own. Being single means to me someone who has never been married. Also there are those who were married and now divorced or their spouse has died. It is hard to know which category is the worst.

Being single often I feel that I am in a group that married people don’t think about at all. Maybe they are glad that they are not single any longer and they hope that divorce or the loss of a spouse will feel like they are single again. I am not sure that is true but I do know I am not a big fan of being single. I am sure there are those who may be thinking you should be glad that you are not married because it is hard and I look at that I have no one to come home to love. I am a caregiver for my mother right now and that takes some of the loneliness away but not all of it. So it now comes back to being lonely during the holiday season. I feel being asked to come for Thanksgiving or Christmas others don’t want me to be alone and be around friends since family is a distance away.  It is a good gesture and it nice to be around people on these occasions however doesn’t still feel that good. In my mind I am thinking not another one of the years and will things change at some point.

I am sure those that are divorced or widowed feel the same way that I do. I have heard from those that are divorced it is worse than your spouse dying and I can see that in a way. If you have small children the holidays can feel awkward as well because they will spend time with both parents. This is especially true if one or both of the divorcees have remarried. Those in that situation are another story in itself.

Those who are widowed like my mother it is difficult in its own way as well. It is wonderful when family is around and can gather together but that isn’t always happening. My sister and brother both are on the east coast while we are on the west coast so not easy to get together. I have had times where I spent the holidays with one of them and so did our mother however now she doesn’t like to travel. Last year we went back to St. Louis Missouri for my nephew Ian and his bride Helen’s wedding. We both had a very good time but a wedding would be the only reason for her to travel. I am sure she would like to go if my remaining nephews got married. Ian and my niece Leslie are the only ones that are married.

What is the answer for those who feel awkward or alone for the holiday season? I am not an expert by any means though I have lived through it for many years my recommendation inviting anyone in the categories that I mentioned makes them feel right at home without thinking of them being single, divorced or widowed. I would not bring the subject up. Don’t ask about their children or family. Let them bring it up instead. Those who are in these categories and the holidays is not joyous make the best of it I say. Decide to be joyful though it may not be easy to accomplish. Joy is a choice that we make despite the circumstances. Peace to you this holiday season. Amen!