Happy Anniverary

On Sunday June 19 I had the honor to attend the 50^th wedding anniversary of my cousin Peggy and her husband Cal. It took place on Whidbey Island which is in itself a beautiful place to visit. I am sure I was only among a handful that attended the wedding and the anniversary. I was not very old at the wedding so I don’t remember it very well. Mainly I know it took place in Bellingham, Washington and it took a long time drive to get there.  Fifty years ago there was no interstate five so had to drive old highway 99.

The thing about a 50^th wedding anniversary is rare these days because of divorce, and the commitment of the couple to stay together. Also, another key is to live long enough to be able to celebrate the golden anniversary. I have found some couples who stay together for some time until their child are all out of the nest, and then they split up. Usually I think one or both go through mid-live crises. It could be they want to see what else is out there or what they may have missed during those years. I am not sure it is true in either scenarios but it could be.  My theory is that since the children are all grown up the couples really don’t know each other anymore, and the love has been lost. They don’t have desire or commitment to rekindle the love and passion in their lives. Those two things could have been lost several years back, and they decided to stay together because of the children. It may have not been what either was thinking during the marriage. Some may think what you know since you never been married. The thought has crossed my mind as well but it all sounds good to me.

Like most gatherings, parties, and celebrations they are always never along enough for me. I would love them to go on much longer. I believe other cultures celebrate these things a lot longer than us Americans do. They may go on for the whole day or even several days in other cultures but we seem to keep them going for the time it takes to eat and not much time longer than that. Personally I am so much into people especially family that I want to visit with each one longer than most expect or want to. It may not be any reason that no one wants to put a time limit it just is how things always work out. I just do not see or spend time with family as much as I really like too. I go to other gatherings like at church it works the same way. The thing about church is that those people I see more often than I do family; however, I would say many of them I don’t know as well as I do my family. I would say that we only know a handful of people a lot and the rest are just acquaints. I am sure most that know me very well would realize I am one that enjoys spending time with people no matter how long I have known them or not.

I believe that as Americans we can learn a lot from other cultures when it comes to relationships. The more time we spend with people the more we will know them. It is like with spouses they know each other very well or at least they should anyways. I believe the issue is that we are generally very busy, and we do not know how to sit back and relax. There is more to life than a job or doing chores. We need to build relationships. The thing is we do not really know how we need someone to teach us. I do have to say though it is getting better over the years. We need to spend time without a limit and not just over a meal. If it is a meal than we must have longer meals; how we change that is someone who has a party or a gathering must plan for it to last a lot longer. I am sure there will be those who may leave after the meal because that is what they are accustomed to; however, it has to begin somewhere.

I have to say Peggy and Cal congratulations to 50 years together and we all hope many more years to come.