Taking Care of a Parent

Many cultures they have had multiple generations living together under one roof for hundreds of years however it is more of a new idea here in the United States of America for children taking care of at least one parent if not both.

A lot of the elderly are still put into nursing homes or assisted living but the cost is so much that many middle age children are now have a mother or father living with them instead of putting into either of those places. It depends a lot in the health status of the parent. In some situations there is really no other choice to do so if the parent is very poor health.

Another option if the parents can live on their own is to have a care giver that comes in to look after them. Again that can be quite costly. There is insurance you can get that covers for situations like this so the cost is not so dramatic.

I decided though to move in and live with my mother about eight years ago after she had a fall while at church. Originally it was temporary but she asked if I would stay on and I said yes. We actually get along a lot better than either of us thought would happen. Besides making sure she is OK I do the grocery shopping and the cooking; sometimes though I do take her to the store for some items.

The most important thing I find is that both of you must have a social life. Other words it is important that you get out some of the time and you do not feel that your life is totally taking care of them. Also, they need to be around others as well. This can be the hardest part of the job especially if they can’t get around very well. Another idea would bring other people to them as well. I believe it is important to remember what you would want if you were in the same position as they are in. Another important thing is they need to feel that they are not a burden to you. This is reason to get them out and you spend time out as well.  

My mother is ninety-five years old and she gets around pretty good for her age. She gets out at least twice a week to play bridge and she belongs to a few other groups as well. The biggest issue she has had which is very common for older people is keeping her balance so yesterday she fell again for the second time in the last four months. So we had to spend the morning in emergency. Fortunately she is going to be OK. The previous fall just before Christmas she fell on the bathroom floor and need twelve stitches; right after that I had grab bars installed and made sure she grabbed onto them each time she went into the bathroom. Yesterday she fell after getting out of bed wanting get to the bathroom. She hit her head and right side of her leg on the dresser. In both instances she was trying to maneuver her walker. I told her to have her cane in the bedroom to help with her balance. Also she plans to hold onto the dresser before she gets her balance. I know it is not one hundred percent proof against her falling at least this should help her out more.

One last thing I recommend for an elderly person whether they live by themselves or with someone else is to get a service that will allow getting help if they fall and no one is around. My mother has the service so if I am not around and she falls or something else happens she can get help right away even without calling 911. I have heard often where elderly people have died lying on the floor because they could not reach the phone or spend many hours before someone found them in the same position.

I hope what I have written here help you all and enjoy your day.