When We Lose Someone So Fast

I mentioned the last time about the loss of my cousin and close friend Bronwen questions will start coming up. It may be part of the mourning process. Also takes time to get the answers if it does ever happen.

Previously I had mourned for the loss of my brother and dad. The situations were different even from Bronwen’s death. Although we thought she would stick around a lot longer because she is a fighter the short time of her leaving us was a blessing for her since she was in such pain. My brother’s case came totally out of left field since he was only thirty-eight years old. So the grieving time lasted a long time. My dad’s death was not nearly the surprise of my brother’s since he was older and had a heart attack a few years earlier. He died of a heart attack by the way. My mourning for him was tough because he died almost a year after my brother’s death. I remember crying out “I just got over my brother’s death”.

Bronwen’s death came quickly after being told that she was going to be sent to a rehab center after taking chemotherapy. No one expected that crone’s disease would come back and affect the cancer and chemotherapy. The doctor’s then said there was nothing more they could do for Bronwen besides making her comfortable. This was the sign she did not have much time left. I thought she had a few days or weeks but that was not the case. I was not able to see her before she went but she had known that I had seen her a couple weeks before and knew we had a special bond beyond being cousins. Her sisters let me know how much they appreciated the relationship that we had together. They were able to share stories and memories before Bronwen had to go.

I know that everyone involved in Bronwen’s life will have questions and not necessarily any answers. I can say that she is in a better place and she no longer has to deal with pain. This is the reason that is good that she went quickly was the pain which would have gotten even worse. For us that loved her it is hard on us right now but we have to hope that we will see her again ourselves in the future.

Bronwen never got the chance to take me out for lunch to celebrate my birthday. We did that several times in the past so I figure when it is my time to move on and I see her the next time I will tell her that she has to buy me lunch. Of course that will be after a big hug first and ask her what she has been doing since our last meeting in the hospital.

I know that we will never get the full answer to why she went so quickly but we can be rest assured that she is no longer in pain. I know that I will have other questions and I am not sure that the answers will be there either but I can say for sure I will miss you Bronwen. I am sure as well that you will be enjoying the party very much. The love that you were missing is now before you. I will continue mourning for you for a while and things will become better for me and your family but one thing is for sure we will never forget you.

The one thing I do know is that grieving is different for each one of us. I do not presume that I know what another person is going through even if they are in a similar situation or for the same person. If you are in the same place as I am today I grieve along with you to even if I don’t understand your grief. God bless you all!