Being Liked

We all want to be liked by others at the very least and if it works out loved. We find out at a young age that we will not be liked by everyone. In fact we will not like everyone ourselves.

Most people we find to like are those that are a lot like us. Although we are all individuals who are different in our own ways we still get attracted to those who come the closest to us. Our friends usually come from our neighborhood or the area we live in. Most of them have the same interest we have whether it is sports, music or education. Those we consider different from us we don’t look to being friends. It is sad thing to be in since most of us want as many friends as possible.

You would really think that we would have learned as children that we will not be liked by everyone and it really troubles many of us because others do not like us. In fact as adults often we go out of our way to be liked by others though in our mind we know it will not happen all the time. We may get upset because some people we want to have as friends and they don’t feel the same way as we do. What is wrong with them they are a lot like me so why don’t they have an interest in me? I believe the answer sometimes is within us where we may not be very likeable. I am not saying that we are not likeable to everyone but some people may feel that way. It could be that we are pushy or aggressive toward those we try real hard to be friends with. A part of that is that we may not try to be ourselves so we act in a manner that we are not comfortable with. I find although it would be nice to be friends with as many people as possible I will try to be as friendly as I can be. Although in my mind I don’t like being rejected by others I still know that will happen so if someone doesn’t like me I move on to others. My thoughts then come into my mind though it is too bad we are not friends it is their loss for not having me as a friend.

What makes this difficult I believe is the lack of security we have in ourselves. This is especially true when we go out of our way to make friends and instead we make them enemies instead. A part of insecurity in us is that we feel alone when we are not with other people. I feel more comfortable in small groups or one on one with others. I find it hard when I am in big groups. This depends though how many people I know when I am in a situation of groups. If I am in a large group where I know the majority of the people than I am fine; those that I don’t know very well than it is hard for me. In a small group I feel fine where I can mingle with them even though I may not know them at all. I usually find out if they are interested in sports or where they live or have lived. I look toward common ground of interest. It is a good way to be comfortable for both of us or the group.

The most important thing is to enjoy the friends you already have. If it is possible to add new friends than you are in a good place; I know that more friends I have the better off I am. Though rejection is hard like I say it is important to move on and know that they are missing out not having you as a friend. So today have the goal  to add one new friend.